Books to Pair with Your Indigo Vibrator
Once upon a time, Indigo used to be the place I would go bi-weekly with my librarian mother; we would sit and read for hours at a time, rarely purchasing anything. I have fond memories of reading full YA books in just over an hour, staring at awful teen magazines like Tiger Beat, or discovering what hentai was in the underwhelming manga section.
As each year passed, the Indigo of my childhood seemed to grow with me—first, a Starbucks added inside, then a music section shoved between the Starbucks and tills, then a different coffee shop replacing that Starbucks, then a small merchandise selection in the kids section, and so on and so forth.
When I go into that very Indigo today, it’s hardly recognizable save for the outside. A majority of the space is now filled with baby items or over-priced shrugs. Don’t get me wrong—the stuff they have now is cute, but you can imagine my shock when I discovered that Indigo is now selling six different kinds of vibrators.
This store is no longer the one that I used to know—she’s all grown up.
As a great fan of lit-erotica, I decided to do us all a favour and make the listicle no one asked for: here I present you with six different books to match your newly purchased Indigo vibrator.
DAME ARC VIBRATOR ICE
WITH
ALL DAY I DREAM OF SIRENS by DOMENICA MARTINELLO
The Dame Arc Vibrator Ice could easily be mistaken as an oversized AirPod, or even some sort of misplaced nozzle. I was thrilled to discover it’s for both internal and external use, and is deemed effectively waterproof. Described as having “a squishy bulb with a clit-stimulating ridge,” I figured this little friend was best suited for the book All Day I Dream About Sirens by Domenica Martinello. Sirens is all about the reclamation of women’s bodies, myth, and epics. This book should provide a thoughtful, empowering experience as you ménage à moi.
DAME EVA II VIBRATOR QUARTZ
WITH
JUNK by TOMMY PICO
You can imagine how shocked I was to see that no reviews have been left on Dame Eve II Vibrator Quartz yet. Shaped like a uterus—or maybe even a Lovecraftian being—this couple’s vibrator is supposed to provide clit-stimulation. You might ask me “how?”, to which I would reply, “I’m genuinely not sure.”
The best fit for this vibrator seems to be Tommy Pico’s Junk. Aptly named, this book is like one long drunk night with a friend who talks too much. Rotating loosely between conversational and hilarious to soul-wrenching and devastating, this book will leave you with a hangover and a thirst to read it all over again.
DAME KIP VIBRATOR LAVENDER
WITH
THE ONLY CARD IN A DECK OF KNIVES by LAUREN TURNER
Now, I wouldn’t claim The Only Card in a Deck of Knives is a particularly sexy book, per say, so I figured why not choose a surprisingly unsexy vibrator as it’s pair. In fact, this vibrator looks something like an air purifier meets a BlueTooth speaker—it’s... sturdy? Efficient, maybe? Supposedly whisper quiet? It seems secretive even, which, if we squint, we can draw parallels to Lauren Turner’s intimate poetry book.
The Only Card in a Deck of Knives is extraordinarily brilliant; it unearths not only how society distances itself from those who are ill, but brings forth Turner’s personal experiences with terminal illness. Drawing illuminating connections between gendered illness and violence against women and non-binary folks, this multi-layered, whip-smart piece packs a punch (although it is not a BlueTooth speaker or air purifier, unfortunately).
DAME ZEE VIBRATOR LAPIS
WITH
THE PISCES by MELISSA BRODER
This is the first of the Indigo vibrators that actually takes the shape of something recognizable or that you’d even consider putting near your genitalia. The Pisces is a book that’s framed like the average fairytale. Melissa Broder sets the stage for a story about a woman falling in love with a mermaid. Without giving away too much, let me just say this book is anything but a classic fairytale—in fact, our narrator borders on downright hateable. That being said, this book made me feel disgusted, angry, and turned on—something I imagine would feel like a Wednesday evening knowing you bought a Dame Zee Vibrator Lapis from the Indigo book chain, I guess.
DAME FIN VIBRATOR JADE
WITH
EMPIRE OF WILD by CHERIE DIMALINE
It took me a solid three minutes of examining to realize I could have scrolled down and read that this vibrator is for your finger. It is a “versatile finger vibrator” which adds stimulation to your intimate touch. I can’t particularly imagine wearing this piece without laughing, but it’s certainly useful.
If you really want to be electrified by touch alone, you’re gonna have to read Cherie Dimaline’s Indigo Best Book of 2019 Empire of Wild. If you look up yearning in the dictionary, you’d find a picture of this book—it captures a sweet mix of Indigenous story, humour, romance, suspense, and a low thrumming of horror.
DAME POM VIBRATOR PLUM
WITH
LUSTER by RAVEN LEILANI
In theory, this vibrator is probably (hopefully?) great? Though the description doesn’t do it too many favours: “powerful, rumbly motor,” that allows “for a confusion-free user experience.” I feel like if you need to say that, it’s probably confusing.
In honour of those ever-so confusing moments, I’ve chosen Raven Leilani’s Luster, which follows the story of a young Black woman getting involved in an open relationship. This debut fiction book is a hot mix of stressful, witty, and sexy. Roxanne Gay describes it perfectly in her review: “I’m really glad my twenties are over.”
Suffice to say, if anyone knows of any confusion-free ways to navigate my twenties, please e-mail me. I’m desperate.
We encourage you to buy these books either directly from the publisher or your local indie bookstore (boo Amazon).
Syd Lazarus
is the author of How to Lose Friends Without Really Trying (Frog Hollow Press, 2019). They are a MA candidate at Concordia for creative writing, perpetually exhausted, and in chronic pain, a Pisces, and a lover of all white-haired anime boys.